Kermit Succumbs to Swine Flu; Body Found in Tijuana

May 1st: The body of the revered Muppet was found in a Tijuana alley known as La Choulia in the Zona Norte district. Early reports suggest he succumbed to an especially virulent case of the H1N1 variant of influenza, commonly known as swine flu. No suspects. Miss Piggy missing. Parents urged to keep their Muppets indoors until further notice.